Newly Diagnosed

First, if you are reading this, I am so sorry you have been diagnosed with cancer. The pathway forward will not be easy. The journey you are about to go on will take you through a new darkness that you probably didn’t even know existed. You may have watched as loved ones went on this journey or this may be your first experience with cancer. Either way, what’s in front of you will have ups and downs, twists and turns, jumps and slides. But I had a family member tell me something at the beginning of my journey that I held onto as a personal mantra, “This is going to suck. It will suck for a while. But it won’t be forever, and when you are done, life will sparkle!”

This is going to suck. It will suck for a while.
But it won’t be forever, and when you are done, life will sparkle!
-A loved one-

At the end of your cancer journey, you will be a changed person. It is impossible to stay the same when your life becomes turned upside down. In the beginning, I held on to who and what I was before cancer like a stoner holds onto the last bag of Funyons. I didn’t want to accept the change that was about to happen to my life and my body. In a desperate attempt to maintain control and present to the world that “nothing was wrong” I researched wigs that would match my own haircut and color. I even found a company that would shave my head and make a wig out of my own hair so no one would know that I was going through chemo. After my surgery, I attempted to have my tissue expanders filled to match the breast size I had before surgery.

These attempts at hiding my cancer were an attempt to hold onto the life I had before. They didn’t end well. The wig company would have cost a fortune and my plastic surgeon did not agree to a rapid expansion program. It would have caused complications that would put my reconstruction, and my health at risk.

Seeing the Present

My journey with cancer changed me. I am now a better, more compassionate person. I am a calmer, more laid back person who is not so driven by the future. I am driven by the present. When you stop focusing on the future, you start to see the present. And the present can sparkle! So for now, try to get some sleep. Close your computer. Light a nice indica joint and try to shut your brain off. A good night sleep will help you face the next step in your cancer journey.

Need a joint? Stop by Torrey Holistics- San Diego’s finest legal marijuana dispensary!

(This Part 1 of a 4 part series. Drop us your email below to get notified when we publish new content!)

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